Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
