my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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