First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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