I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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