CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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