Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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