Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
