I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
