dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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