KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
