Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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