They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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