I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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