I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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