why didn't you poke me back
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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