Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
