YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
