I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
