You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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