You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no, he came in my armpit
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
