I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
