she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
