You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
