I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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