you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
