Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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