He kissed a someone with a penis
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
