i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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