is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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