yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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