"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
