Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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