Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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