Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
