actually, I'm a sock model
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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