White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
