This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
