so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
