y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
