No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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