yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
