I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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