I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
