Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Michael Bay diarrhea
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
