I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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