y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
