guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
