yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
