im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
