it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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