wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
